The Lessons Not Easily Learned

    I don't talk or write about My experiences as a submissive often.  Truth be told it was one of the most difficult times in My life because I had to pretend to be someone I was not.  I was not the best of submissives (I'd never Own myself as a submissive... EVER).  Haha.  That being said, however, I'm truly glad that I learned lessons as a submissive before becoming a Dominant.  

   When I first got into BDSM, officially anyway, a wonderful lady from Chicago trained Me.   I was 18.  She was beautiful, intelligent, demanding, and loving. Everywhere she went and in everything she did there was an aura of superiority.  Not in a 'I'm better than you' type of way but a magical mystical way.... I'll admire and adore her till the day I die.  She agreed ttrain Me as a Dominant but said I must learn as a submissive first.  A CEO never starts out as a CEO but in the mail room sort of philosophy.  I adhere to this same philosophy Myself actually so it was only natural that I'd agree.  I had No frigging clue what I was agreeing to at the time though.  

   Almost seven months of training as a submissive.  We'd meet, meaning I'd travel to her, no less than three times a month for three days.  A very specific amount of time was set so I traveled as often as I could  to speed it along. 
   
   In that time I learned the basics before anything else.  What BDSM was, how and where it originated from, the philosophies and protocols of the beautiful community.   I also underwent several (and I say way way too many) scenes where I was the bottom.   I'm not big on pain so thankfully she didn't push that limit too hard but I did undergo most things any sub would.  I was spanked (with many different implements), bound, gagged, teased, humiliated (to a certain degree), tortured with things like nipple clamps and pussy weights (Not at all fun for Me), and given menial tasks to perform to show My submission was not because I wanted something but to serve her..... One time I had to go to the pharmacy and as the pharmacist about foul vaginal odor and ask him what to do and another I simply had to take a picture of My favorite flower blooming in spring.  Tasks were like that.  
   
    While I didn't like bending to the will of another person, especially when it came to pushing My limits beyond what I thought they were, the lessons learned were invaluable and I'm grateful for them.  I could not be the loving, understanding, and strict Dominant I am today without knowing what and how a submissive thinks or feels in a situation.  I've first hand experienced the love, care, guidance, and sternness of a well educated and simply wonderful Dominant.  I've also experienced the pain of displeasing and disappointing her. 
   
     The lessons were not easily learned but they were worth it.  Many of them have been talked about already in this blog.  A child learns it's most valuable lessons in the first six years of life.  I think the same can be said for those who are starting out in BDSM... the most valuable lessons, for Me anyway, were learned those first six to seven months.  

     Thank you Miss Clara, for being My mentor and teacher....for guiding Me in the first baby steps of My journey to finding the center of who I am and following that path.  As always, with head held high and a knowing smile upon My lips.