Manners, Protocols & Etiquette.

Many people in the D/s lifestyle place great importance on manners, protocols and etiquette at events, and functions, and also in more private situations.

The dictionary defines Manners as:

man·ner

a.the prevailing customs, ways of living, and habits of a people, class, period, etc.; mores: The novels of Jane Austen are concerned with the manners of her time.

b.ways of behaving with reference to polite standards; social comportment: That child has good manners.

Manners are important no matter what lifestyle you lead, they are basic common courtesies that most people learn as they grow up. The please and thank you, not speaking with a mouthful of food, not interrupting a conversation, etc.( a pet peeve of Mine is being interrupted while talking) All things that should be applied in all situations.

Protocols and Etiquette - though related to good manners - are really what many people associate with our lifestyle, and many scene people place great importance on both.

So what is a Protocol, and what is Etiquette?

Protocol is defined as:
 A code of correct conduct. The system of rules and acceptable behavior used at official ceremonies and occasions
 

Etiquette is defined as:
conventional requirements as to social behavior.
the set of rules or customs which control accepted behavior in particular social groups or social situations.

From these definitions it is obvious that protocols are more widely recognised as being "official behavior", where etiquette is predominantly social behavior, but the basic element is the same, they are about correct behavior in certain situations.

The M/s lifestyle has various situations which can involve different levels of protocol, for example an informal night at home might be low protocol, having M/s guests for dinner maybe medium protocol, but a formal M/s dinner would be high protocol.

Low protocol is easy going and usual in most informal situations or casual stay at home nights. It is also what many M/s couples use if they are in “vanilla situations” such as family get togethers, where not everyone is aware of the lifestyle. Only to the practiced eye, is the subtle M/s interaction noticeable, but there is no doubt in the slave’s mind that it is there. (for instance... when we are at an Irish pub or some nice bar -winks-)

Medium protocol is basically just a step up from low protocol. It is still fairly easy going, but there is a bit of an edge to things, and the slave is a little more aware of his/her behavior. It may involve things such as wearing a collar at the table for the evening, wearing a bracelet from day to day, slipping in a penis plug when told, being mindful and respectful to who ever is around you, but being able to speak fairly freely, as long as you are respectful.

If a slave is “put on” high protocol, she/he is instructed to behave in a certain manner befitting a high protocol situation - she/he would have certain rules to follow. High protocol usually means all focus is on the Mistress, and no communication with anyone else, unless directed, is allowed. The slave would keep eyes lowered and be quiet at all times, and remain in whatever position or place she/ he has been instructed to stay in.

Being in high protocol is a very good way of remaining focused, and also a good way of lessening stressful situations. As a slave, on high protocol you do not think of anything except your Mistress. (your daily meditation is a high protocol function every day as are your blogs and schedules I've given you.... for those who go deep into the tpe the whole way of life becomes high protocol... asking permission to urinate and such.)

Protocols are also in place at such things as formal collarings, or training workshops, where certain codes of conduct are expected, and should be adhered to by everyone.

Etiquette is like a set of protocols or rules for social situations. Many Dominants like the formal side of D/s so they tend to teach their submissives to use correct etiquette, and to learn what is appropriate and when.

As a Mistress I require different styles of greetings for My slaves to use depending on which Dominant we may encounter. (on the occasion of course, that we are ever at a gathering together...which I do hope in the future at some point is an option)

For example, for most Dominants we meet up with, it would be alright to greet them in a fairly informal way, with a handshake etc.…. However there are one or two for which I would require a formal greeting from you, that is - down on your knees with your forehead to the ground. (though to be honest the level of respect that would require for Me to have for another Dominant to have you kneel before them... would have to be significant... and that's rare)

Your behavior is a reflection on Myself and you should always be conscious of that fact.

Of course, most people we meet within the D/s Lifestyle are polite and well mannered, new people venturing out are sometimes ignorant of the etiquette which should be followed in social situations, but if things are gently explained, there isn’t usually a problem.

In summing up then, it would seem that basic manners should be a necessity in any lifestyle, but that protocols and etiquette play a big part in the D/s world. There are many of us who embrace them and incorporate them into our daily lives, but equally many who do not understand the subtleties of correct protocol and etiquette.

I fully understand that not everyone places as much importance on manners, protocols and etiquette as I do. For Me it is like the icing on the cake  - it adds to the quality of My life as a Mistress. It helps Me to know that My slaves are focused on Me and in turn that makes Me proud of them.

 

(On a side note.. there are certain high protocols that I don't particularly care for in the M/s relationship... like the banning of slaves to make eye contact, or to sit upon furniture... for goshdarnholyheckerdoodles sakes a slave is still a person.... If My kids (who I consider animals of the rowdiest sort and pets can look Me in the eye and sit beside Me on the sofa... well damn it so can My slave... lol)

(I had help with today's blog from My friend Kim, a very rare woman who I admire)