Poly Poly Poly

Poly Poly Poly...

Polyamory:

      The word "polyamory" is based on the Greek and Latin for "many loves" (literally, poly many + amore love). A polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship that involves more than two people.  

Polyamory is not swinging where the focus is on recreational sex, though friendships and deeper bonds may develop. With polyamory, deep relationships are the focus, though the sex is often fun.

It's not having a girlfriend on the side. The technical term for that is "cheating."

       The thing that defines a polyamorous relationship is that everyone involved knows about, and agrees to, everyone else's involvement.  It is defined by informed consent of all the participants.

Wait.. you can only love one person at a time right???

       Many people believe that a person who has multiple loves can't give their "whole heart" to any person. The belief goes that if you love one person, you can express your love wholeheartedly, but if you love multiple people, your love is divided up and is therefore not as deep. This is based on the "starvation model" of love--that is, you only have a limited amount of love, and if you give your love to one person, there is none left to give to anyone else--so if you fall in love with another person, you have to pay for it by withdrawing your love from the first person.
Love is not the same thing as money. With money, you have only a limited amount to spend, and when you give it to one person you have less left to give to another. But love behaves in wonderful and unpredictable and counter-intuitive ways. When you love more than one person, you soon realize that the more love you give away, the more love you have to give. Yes, you CAN give your whole heart to more than one person, and when you do, you realize it's the most beautiful feeling in all the world.

       Don't think of the contents of your heart the way you think of the contents of your wallet; it doesn't work like that.

       Some people also seem to feel that it is not possible to love more than one person at a time, so if you're in a position where you're in a relationship with one person and you happen to fall for someone else, this proves you don't really love the person you're with, right? After all, the feeling goes, we are put here on this earth to love only one other person, our one true soul-mate in a world of six billion people...the single person who is right for us, and who by some quite astounding coincidence happens to go to the same school, or work at the same place.
This is the "scarcity model" of love--the notion that love is rare, that we can only have one true love, and that once we meet that one true love, the part of our brains which take notice of other people suddenly and mysteriously shut off.  (which I find absolutely absurd)

       So how do we judge love, how do we model it.. What is Love?  (desperately wanting to sing the song now by Haddaway)  
        Love can't be defined in words nor in feelings.. there are countless poems, books, movies, musings and thoughts on love...  no ONE is right and no ONE is wrong... My take on love...

Love is a many splendored thing
It’s the April rose that only grows
In the early Spring
Love is nature’s way of giving
A reason to be living
The golden crown that makes a man a king

“Once on a high and windy hill
In the morning mist two lovers kissed
and the world stood still
Then your fingers touched my silent heart
and taught it how to sing
Yes, true love’s a many splendored thing”

       Yes yes it's Sinatra, but he had it right in My opinion in a way... Love is a many splendored thing.  Don't try to define it, box it, categorize it, or classify it... Love is Love... leave it at that.  I believe love is a many splendored thing limited only by our imagination (by the way.. the rat pack are completely marvelous!!)

       Anyway, back to what I intended for this blog, in a poly relationship, it is vital--perhaps even more vital than in a monogamous relationship--for everyone involved to know and understand the rules of the relationship, and abide by them. A successful poly relationship absolutely requires trust and security from everyone involved. If you cannot abide by the relationship's rules, you cannot expect to make a polyamorous relationship work.

     I love my fiance with all I am, he is and forever will be my man.  I love brenda with all I am, she is My beautiful love, the epitome of feminine grace and all that I admire.  I love jonathan, My sweet morsel, he is the sweet and fun pup that I adore.  I love paul, My doll,  the stoic champion who I cherish.  
      I do not love any of you any less nor any more than the other.  I can't explain it if I tried, it simply is.  I would lay down My life for any of you, for all of you... To the moon and back, eternity and beyond.  My heart cannot contain it all at times and I quite literally have to stop, force Myself to breath and compress it again.  I don't say this for flowery words to waste space on the page... It's so more than true.  I love each of you, deeply, profoundly... without hesitation, doubt, or inhibitions.