Obedience...

 
Yesterday's blog was not an easy one I know.....
     So today we will go back a day and discuss your assignment that was due.  I will not often give you the same assignment, however in this one I did... 1,000 words on obedience.   In reading 3,000 words all stemming from one broad word you'd think that My eyes would hurt, My head explode, and My brain tired... in honesty though I was absolutely thrilled.  you each did a magnificent job capturing the essence of obedience in your own way.  
      If you read them, which you will, it almost seems as if it were a joint effort on your parts.... one seems to flow from and through the other... I can't tell you how absolutely excited I am about this. 
      I will be posting each of your writings below.... please read them.

Obedience

 

 

 

      In simple terms, obedience is doing as you are told. It is something that is important in many aspects of everyones everyday life.

      Obedience within the BDSM lifestyle is, i believe, one of the most important qualities a submissive/slave needs. An Owner must have control over the submissive in order for the power exchange to take place, but without obedience, how is that control possible? Everyday life as a submissive, obedience can make for a successful D/s relationship. Without the obedience it could make the relationship quite difficult.

      There are many ingredients to build a strong D/s relationship, but as most should know the most important one is obedience. Whether the relationship be just causual, or a more permanent situation. The submissive/slave must always be obedient or at least give it their all to be. This enables the true power exchange and it helps smooth the way for both the Dominant and submissive.

      Obedience should be a vital and necessary element in the relationship in order for everything to flow smoothly. It builds the confidence of the Dominant, and reassures Him/Her that the submissive will always do as told. In return the submissive trusts the Dominant knows best and, even if it is a battle, obedience wins.

      Even though most submissives are trained to always obey their Dominants commands without question there is often an inner struggle. During that time it is very important to remember that the commands given were to please Him/Her. Her desires, Her needs that are met by the submissives obedience. The submissives behavior is a direct reflection of their Dominant so therefore they must always be obedient. Being disobedient does not show that the Dominant has control over the submissive.

      In order for a slave to exhibit proper behavior and properly serve his/her Master or Mistress, a slave must be obedient. Obedience for BDSM lifestyle purposes is the whole mind and body of the slave submitting to the will of his/her Dominant, and Their rules. It is a mental state of being obedient, compliance with his/her authority figure. (The Master or Mistress) and being subjected to any restraint or control He/She may choose. The basics of obedience should already be known, as we all grow up being taught how to be obedient in many ways. However, the full consistency of obedience is something that may have to be taught, expanded and practiced in order for the slave to become an offective slave. For some though, it is a natural thing to obey a command without even thinking of shooting a question about that command to the One giving it. It is a state of mind that involves a conscious choice of the slave's part. he/she agrees to being Owned and part of the Ownership is the slave agreeing to be obedient to his/her Master or Mistress.

      The willingness to be obedient is the key to be a proper slave to ones Master or Mistress. Obedience can often be tested and expanded by the Master or Mistress through the use of humiliation or other forms of edge play. Simple commands can be a test to see how well the sub/slave reacts to such a command. Complete obedience is a big part of giving away freedom to the Dominant.

      Obedience is the voluntary slave's lifeblood. To obey is not our cross but our joy.

      Obedience is the reinforcement that holds a Dominant/slave relationship together. Obedience is more than conformity. Obedience must not be false on the slave's will. A slave should never question obligation to obey. Without complete obedience the Dominant can not retain complete control over the slave. Obedience is an act of will that develops gradually, showing itself unexpectedly at the end of a long process of development of the slave. It is a basic element in the structure of the Dominant/slave lifestyle.

      For slaves, the obedience determines what can be enjoyed. It determines the slaves self-esteem and pleasure. It connects the slave to the Dominant. It gives the slave principle and shelters the slave. It verifies the slave. Obedience is the very essence of slavery. It is the special charm of slaves. Obedience is the basic foundation of the slaves self, and the inner strength of a slave's confidence. Obedience determines for the slave what is right and what is wrong. It releases the slave to be what only a slave can be and that is one whose will has be replaced by that of Another. Obedience should be the signle most important concern for a slave, and this releases the slave from almost all other concerns. Obedience is the foremost principle through which is right and wrong is assessed by the slave and the Dominant. Being obedient is about the slave's proper and genuine behavior. The boundaries are not there when the slave lives within the obedience. Obedience without variation. It is the pure expression of the slave.

      Obedience is a basic element in the structure of the Dominant/slave lifestyle. The Dominants authority is a requirement of the slaves existence, and it is only the slave under the Dominants will who is forced to respond, with submission, to the commands of the Dominant. For many slaves, obedience becomes a deeply ingrained behavior tendency, indeed a potent impulse overriding emotion, self-absorption, and conduct. It is behavior intended to please ones Master or Mistress. It is the act of obeying, the ditiful or submissive behavior with respect to ones Dominant. Obedience is the trait of being willing to obey without hesitation.

      Discipline in training is engaged by the Dominant to teach proper behavior and obedience. Discipline is described as teaching and application training, whether physical, mental or moral. It is a method to instill proper behavior and obedience before a violation has been committed. By the acceptance of slavery, a slave agrees to be obedient and accept discipline training and punishment for any bad behavior. We do not partake in equality but, rather, establish our relationships upon an unequal footing. This is the essence of power exchange. And, at the core of that, is obedience. Without obedience, the BDSM dynamic completely falls apart.

 

 

 

 

 

 Obedience (human behavior)

 From Wikipedia Obedience, in human behavior, is a form of "social influence in which a person yields to explicit instructions or orders from an authority figure".[1] Obedience is generally distinguished from compliance, which is behavior influenced by peers, and from conformity, which is behavior intended to match that of the majority. All the other academic versions of the definition are essentially the same - from Websters, AMA, Catholic University - you name it, same general idea. It’s only when searching “obedience in BDSM” do you get more “interesting” descriptions, which are more like individual opinions than definitions. i assume that is why You have us doing this assignment - to hear our take in the meaning as opposed to some random FemDomme from Wichita. So that said, we’ll start with the basics and move from there. The above definition is more insightful than the veneer of the vanilla simplicity implies. “Yields to explicit orders from an authority figure”. Not responds, complies, conforms, follows, but yields. Now the word “yield” in and of itself has an interesting definition. As per Merriam-Webster: ! : to give or render as fitting, rightfully owed, or required ! : to give up possession of on claim or demand ! : to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another ! : hand over possession of ! : to surrender or submit (oneself) to another ! : to give (oneself) up to an inclination, temptation, or habit ! : to relinquish one's possession of (as a position of advantage or point of superiority) So defining obedience, the “yielding to explicit orders from an authority figure”, becomes fundamentally a simple exercise, and then again, not so much. When i first read the assignment, i thought it would be rather, i don’t want to say simple, but for the most part a not-so-cerebral task, and certainly not soul-searching exercise. i thought i’d just wax on about how a slave should obey their Domme and have faith and trust and blah, blah, blah. Not to trivialize it in any way, but in light of my research, i would have been embarrassed to submit that rookie, entry level, minor-league cheese burger at Your door! The verb of “obeying” is not difficult too comprehend and is simple - doing explicitly what you’re told to do from the recognized authority figure. The only interesting nuance is the word explicit. That can catch a sub. Listen to every word to the T and respond accordingly. If your Domme wants a 1000 word essay on “Obedience”, She wants 1000 words. Not 996, not about 1000 words - but 1000 words. You can call Yourself OCD, and maybe You are, but that’s just good protocol for any submissive/slave. In addition to a slave needing to have to make a concerted effort to pay attention to details of instruction, there is also a trust factor that’s required. Well, it’s not technically required i suppose, but it sure makes it easier. You have to have faith in your Domme that She cares about you and would never harm you. That Her instructions have purpose, meaning, that in one way or another will benefit Her - by either making You a better slave (which will please Her), or by performing a task (sexual or otherwise) that would please Her (cunnilingus or cleaning the kitchen). The significance of the definition of obedience is in the specific reference to the act of “yielding”. Now we’re talking D/s. Merriam-Webster was a kinkster! The definition of yielding is what this is all about. Look at some of the keys words in the description: ! 1: to give or render as fitting, rightfully owed, or required ! 2: to give up possession of on claim or demand ! 3: to surrender or relinquish to the physical control of another ! 4: hand over possession of ! 5: to surrender or submit (oneself) to another ! 6: to give (oneself) up to an inclination, temptation, or habit ! 7: to relinquish one's possession of (as a position of advantage/point of ! superiority) i’m sorry, but wow! Does that not just scream the blueprints for a submissive/slave? Obedience is yielding control! Let’s just go down the line and what i as a submissive/slave sees in this. 1a: my whole take on my role as a submissive/slave is that You are owed my servitude. Not that You haven’t earned it, but once the relationship is established and deepens, i, as Your slave, owe You myself - You are the one who was meant to have this, You want to take it and i want to give it. ! 2a: You possess me. i am an asset, a resource, a tool. ! 3a: You have physical control of my body - no chastity device required! ! 4a: My submission is given, not taken by force or threat of harm, ie “gift of submission” ! 5a: i surrender and submit to You ! 6a: i give in to this desire, this need, this unconventional yet completely fulfilling lifestyle ! 7a: i give up my well established, vanilla world position of dominance gladly to You i think that even without having looked up the official definition and wording, i would have come to similar conclusions. i just found it fascinating that lying beneath the surface was an amazingly complex and appropriate nuance to the word. This assignment also comes on the heels of a subject we touched on a couple of nights ago, with the Tori Amos song, and yielding. Obedience with the inclusion of the word yielding perfectly describes what i cherish about this. i see You as an intellectual equal, a luminary that commands attention, respect, and it’s not out of a desire to willy-nilly submit to anyone. i couldn’t. And i know in my heart of hearts, You could and would see right through any posers. So in conclusion, obedience = yielding to explicit orders. Yielding = giving up control (physical and mental), submitting, relinquishing, trusting. i happily give You my obedience. i happily yield to You. i happily and willingly give You me...

 

 

 

The Definition of Obedience

Obedience can be understood in a couple of ways. It can either be something that is given out of respect or something that is given out of demand. Both result in basically the same thing, however, the mental inclination of the one that gives obedience is very different.

In the first scenario, when one gives obedience out of respect and because of a nurturing relationship, the obedience is given willingly. Kindly. It is given because the one giving it wants to, even learns that they need to.

In the second scenario, when one gives obedience out of pure demand, the obedience is given at first out of necessity. It is given because there is fear of retribution if not given. Over time, this obedience becomes an instinctual response. It isn’t necessarily given because the one giving it wants to, but out of survival. Like a dog that is beat into submission. It learns that disobedience is not an option for survival.

Though there are many inherent problems with the second form of obedience, one of the bigger ones is that the person ends up acting out. It is seen usually in small ways. Though they give their obedience because they have to and have been trained to in order to survive, they secretly hate giving it out. It gnaws at them internally. They learn to despise their Master.

That is obedience from the clinical side and the point of view of Mistress’ Sweet. Obedience and what it means on a deeper level takes on a slightly different perspective.

Because Mistress’ sweet cares for and wants to please his Mistress, because he understands that Mistress expects but does not demand obedience, because She expects it to be given willingly, honestly and wholeheartedly, the obedience given is out of a complete desire and need. Mistress’ sweet WANTS to please his Mistress. he WANTS and NEEDS to give Her his obedience. he trusts that Mistress requires and asks for what is right, what is due Her and nothing that will harm Her sweet.

To not be obedient in this situation, would be to disrespect Mistress. It would be akin to slapping Her in the face.

To use the illustration of the dog in the beginning, Mistress’ sweet feels like a puppy that follows his Mistress lead around anywhere, just to be in the presence of Mistress. Curls up at Her feet and waits for Her hand to gently pet or pat his head. Waits for the reward of pleasing Mistress and Her smile of approval, knowing that every act of obedience leads to that point.

Conversely, when disobedient, Mistress’ sweet is like the puppy that knows he has done something wrong. he can’t look his Mistress in the eye and at the same time tries to nuzzle up to Mistress for Her affection and Her forgiveness.

Obedience means listening. If Mistress says something, Her sweet needs to listen carefully. To every little thing. How can Her sweet expect to be pleasing to Mistress if he doesn’t know what is on Her mind, what Her expectations are, Her desires and Her needs? And if Mistress gives a specific command, but Her sweet isn’t paying attention to every little detail, how can Her sweet possibly carry out the command with all details Mistress requires for it to be fulfilled?

Obedience means paying attention to the details. Her sweet has a problem sometimes with details. he knows he must work on this to please Mistress. Sometimes the big picture gets in the way (he has always been an “idea” man that thought about the details only after figuring out the big picture). Unfortunately though, it is the details that make the difference. They make or break the final outcome. Without understanding and carrying out the details, can the command or assignment be called truly fulfilled? It becomes something different than expected. Even if it is in a minor way. It becomes something less than.

Obedience means carrying out the command or assignment quickly. The time frame of which something is carried out demonstrates quite a bit. It shows the willingness of a person to carry out a command or assignment. Is their heart in it as much as their mind and body? Or is it something that they feel can be put off without consequence? That isn’t to say that some assignments can’t be carried out quickly. Sometimes thought, consideration, meditation and care need to override quickness in being obedient. Sometimes this shows a higher level of obedience. It can show intent to another degree.

On that note, obedience also means carrying out an assignment or command with thought and consideration – in order to make sure all the details are considered and followed out as needed and requested.

Obedience means the heart. Mistress doesn’t want half hearted or double hearted obedience. She wants it to be complete and with love and a desire to please her needs, wants and desires. So Mistress’ sweet must obey from the heart. Willingly and lovingly carrying out every task, even if they go against the grain or natural tendencies of Mistress’ sweet. his roles is to learn to like, appreciate and love the commands of his Mistress. Sometimes, Mistress will no doubt ask Her sweet to do something he doesn’t want to naturally do. This will obviously make it difficult to truly give obedience from the heart. But Mistress’ sweet trusts that Mistress has her good reasons for asking and requesting what She has commanded. This must override Her sweet’s inclination. Over time, he will no doubt learn to love ALL of Mistress’ commands from the heart. he will learn obedience in this way.

Obedience is learned. Through time, experience and getting to know Mistress on a deeper level, by creating a bond with Her, Mistress’ sweet will learn how to not only best please his Mistress but will also learn how to be the best and most obedient submissive he can be. Thanking Her for every command she gives.

 

 

Ha ha ha... -an evil smirk-  I should make each of you retype these as I've just checked your word counts..... one is under and two are over the 1000 words.... -shakes My head-  I suppose this once I will grade on a curve... but don't expect it in the future.