Vanilla commonalities

For Me, as a Domme, It is important to have several vanilla commonalities with a submissive/slave...It can't ALL be about the kink.    

There is a thing called 'D/s gravity'. It is a phenomenon of compelling—or irresistible—but groundless attraction that may occur between a Domme and submissive early-on in their interactions. I do My best to resist this as it will probably pull one or both of us into a crash landing in unknown terrain. And if you know anything about Me by now you should know I avoid any negativity, hurt, or undue stress in life as a Domme.  

   I had a Dom friend once who met with a new submissive and they literally holed up in a hotel for a week.... enjoying non stop play.... (a dream of Mine in the right context... maybe some day).  When they surfaced after a week, going back to the vanilla way of life they realized they had NOTHING in common and things ended just as quickly as they had begun... this is sad to Me... 

   Without a connection, general chemistry, in the vanilla world how can you build a relationship?  That's just speaking of Domme/sub too.  When you're talking about the constant contact of Domme/slave.... you bet your ass there has to be a foundation to build upon or everything will eventually topple in a mess.  I used to love to play topple towers on My phone (I had to literally delete it because I'd spend hours-yes I'm determined like that- trying to beat My own score).... When I think of building any relationship without common ground I think of that game.... every piece has to be placed at the right angle and the bigger the base the higher you can go.   My boys LOVE legos...shhh so do I...  We love to see how tall we can build a single stack (quite like the game topple towers btw).  One thing I've tried to teach them is that if you have a good thick, solid, sturdy base (and ooooo My dirty mind just took that sentence and ran with it a moment... lol)  the higher you can build.  

   So this is why I like to get to know you in a very vanilla way as we grow together... kink will always come and the dominant in Me will ALWAYS take charge but it's good to know we have things in common, that we have chemistry outside of D/s.   I find I have this with each of you on one level or another....  It's what makes for interesting conversations, good times, and a dynamic of the D/s relationship (well actually the M/s relationship if we get technical) that I so love.