The Vetting Process

     I get many requests every day from men and women asking Me to consider them when looking for a submissive or slave.  While I am honored at each one many don't even get a response.  Those that do are never automatically assumed to be good candidates. I take extreme caution and care in choosing one who will serve Me.  I have an extensive vetting process and I'm never in a hurry to claim one as Mine. Vetting is making a careful and critical examination of something or someone.  My personal style of vetting a new submissive or slave isn't necessarily another Dominant's way but it serves Me splendidly and that's what matters.  

    It starts always with questions, questions, and more questions.  Simple, easy to answer, random questions. I say random but in all honesty if you know Me, you know nothing I do is very 'random'... everything has it's purpose.  I like to play a game with the questions, to make it more laid back than an interview of sorts.  Interviews turn Me off entirely and if I feel like I'm being interrogated I will quickly end the conversation. 

     The questions always start very vanilla.... very.   From what are your hobbies to where would you travel for a week if all expenses were paid.   I learn a great deal about a person with this line of questioning.  I learn where their passions, time, and money, are spent in their everyday life.  What type of personality they have and if they have things in common with Me that will build a good foundation.  Now, I don't want someone exactly like Me... one of Me is enough.  I do however find it necessary to have many vanilla commonalities.  If I cant have a good afternoon with you in the vanilla sense there is no way I'm going to be all kinky with you. 

     Once we've been chatting a bit I'll get to the kink.  A person's kinks and fetishes grow and evolve with them so I always ask what they are and what that means to them... TPE doesn't always look for one like it does for another.  Hard limits are asked as well.  If you're into something I absolutely will not do (like scat)  and you have to have it then obviously we are not a match and vice versa.  If however we've gotten to this point in our conversation I like you enough to have made a new friend and I enjoy friends. 

      Once kinks have been discussed I will ALWAYS go back to vanilla commonalities.  ALWAYS.   It astounds Me just how many times that once the 'kink' is added that the other person can not go back to vanilla conversation.  I get highly annoyed and will stop chatting with you altogether after one warning if I can't have a 20 minute conversation with you bringing up kink... especially the same kink.    I had a conversation with a man once at this point... once I told him I was into facesitting that is quite literally ALL he could come back to.  Every question, every message after he'd bring it up.... After one warning he did it again and I've never talked to him since.  When I say I won't talk to you if you do this... I mean it.  

        A contract is sent to you via email where I allow you time to thoroughly look over it and answer any questions you may have.  The contract is a general one that must be talked about and tweaked to fit our personal D/s or M/s relationship point by point, line by line.

       After you've seen the contract, if we are still chatting and you're still interested in being Mine I will set up a meeting with you.  A meeting doesn't guarantee that you have it in the bag either not that I don't already know if I want you or not.  The meeting is to test your public behavior, our physical chemistry, and your sincerity.  It serves to solidify what I already think of you.  I've generally a pretty good idea if I like you or want you at this point and you won't know.  Only twice has someone known before hand that I wanted them.... both times there was just a connection I couldn't deny and I couldn't keep them in suspense any longer.  

       You will know how I feel about you by the end of the meeting... I don't have much of a poker face, never have.   I show all My cards quite easily.  I'm not one to wear My heart on My sleeve but I never hide emotions and desires.  In a general rule... if I kiss you.... you are MINE (that is if you still want to be Mine, I don't force or assume).  If I don't... you should pretty much know that you and I are friends.  I may respect you, adore you, and enjoy you but it just isn't there for Me for some reason.  

         We go over the contract over a few hours or days by text and email, doing the tweaking as we discuss expectations on both ends and then a contract is signed if you and I both decide to go forward..... and hopefully there is a 'Happily Ever After'.


    I have to say here that there have been a few exceptions to this process.  I don't particularly like veering from the process but at times it's necessary.   I should also say that I may add little 'tasks or assignments' during the vetting process to see how well you listen and your sincerity in serving.  I've known some to get references... and I've often thought about doing this.... I may implement it in the future.


(I was asked if I was going to give details of My accident.... Tomorrow's blog will touch on it briefly)