I've had a doozy of a day today... much running around, getting things done, and trying to clean up other peoples messes. I'm laying here now, in bed, exhausted and annoyed.
I'm not one who generally allows emotions to rule Me... I like to be in control of them. Not to say I don't feel, quite the contrary actually. I feel things deeply and profoundly. I simply don't like to allow My emotions to dictate what I do from day to day... Logic works so much better for that. (My step father, Dad, taught Me how to think logically more than emotionally)
Emotions come and go.. even the 'feeling' of love has cycles. It ebbs and flows. However, as a woman, it's not always easy to simply push aside feelings and some days they get the better of Me. I in no way think this is a FLAW... it's the way we women were designed and created. We are naturally creatures of emotion. I simply don't like it to happen often.
Moments of pure joy as well as complete and deep love often overtake Me... those I relish in and hold on to tightly. Those are emotions that stem from the passion in life I have. They are the root of who I am and what I'm about.... passion, joy, and love... do you disagree?
Then there are days like today, where it seems a black cloud is following Me, blocking My sun. Days like this tend to be the beginning of a 'descent' into doldrums. I know the pattern well and fight it from time to time as do most I'm sure. It's not as if today was a bad day, by no means was it... a lunch with My sweet, an online session with My love, and great communication with My doll. Not to mention the fun time I had with the kids today. All in all it was quite a splendid day actually... but I can't shake this 'foreboding' feeling; this dark emotion of sadness. (NO, I'm not bipolor.... lol, I've had all the tests. I'm simply a woman. One who feels things deeply) These times I wish I were more logically thinking than I am.. to reason it away or avoid it altogether. But in earnest, I heard once that without feeling the lows you'll never appreciate the highs that are so marvelous and I tend to agree with that sentiment. It annoys Me that I do, but I do. It doesn't help that I'm also annoyed that I'm getting this blog out so late... forgive Me. I hate doing things late in the day, prefer it to be first thing so that you know, you are not an afterthought of My day but the priority of it.... getting My communication to you in blog done before the rest of the world 'hits'.
I don't want you to fret, I will be fine. I'm not depressed just feeling rather 'blahh' and it will pass.
4 comments:
Thank You for sharing Your thoughts Mistress. We all have our emotional days. i hope the "blahh" feeling passes soon Mistress. Can not wait for mine to pass.
It's difficult balancing emotions and logic and which has dominance over our decsion making. Your healthy sense of self-awareness, Mistress, puts You at a great advantage to not make impulsive mistakes or going too far down a rabbit hole of "blahness". Without that filter, where You feel "blah", most would have proceeded to "depressed".
It is this intellectual maturity and wisdom that contributes to You talents as a Domme. How could You read us properly f You can't even read Yourself? This is another reason serving You comes so easy and with so much trust. Thank You so much for sharing, Your blah will go away soon enough i'm sure. But in expressing it, You certainly revealed yet another great facet of Your character - thank you, Mistress.
i felt a little of Your blahness yesterday Mistress, just a hint (of course my mind was a little out of touch, but i felt there was a hint). Thank You for sharing. i know it is such a human and difficult thing when that feeling begins washing over us. It takes nothing away from You Mistress at all. Just makes You even more beautiful and real.
Thank you each for your support and encouraging words. I'm not one to be in any sort of rut for too long... life is too short so I choose happiness as often as I can. The blah's come and go, however, and it's just something to ride out... music can often pull Me out of them right quick.. so can people. So going dancing did the trick!! I find no greater love than when a person knows you so well they know exactly what to do to make you smile and clear the fog. Thank you Rob, love you baby!
(on a side note... I might become a part time bar tender after last night... we shall see!)
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