Saying goodbye is never easy to do.

   Yesterday was a very emotional day for Me,  the climax of an emotional week.  Having been very honest with Myself, seeking outside advice (which I rarely do), and looking at things with a fresh perspective as well as a different viewpoint I had come to the conclusion I needed to release My darling paul.  
    It was no fault of his.  Paul is a wonderful, intelligent, strong man who I seem to have an uncanny amount of vanilla commonalities with.  He has done his best to please Me and has succeeded in many ways, however, there is something that doesn't fit correctly within the D/s (M/s) dynamic.  This again, is no fault of his.  It's simply a matter of chemistry and personality).
    I don't take submissives/slaves in lightly... I'm detailed, methodical, and almost downright pesky in the beginning as I'm getting to know them.  Everyone can have 'that newness' factor where things seem to go perfectly.  So it's always with a very open heart and eyes that I go into a relationship.  The M/s relationship I love and live is much like any other relationship in the aspect that it's based on two people and how they grow together.  I love Paul, I've come to love him, but love itself is not what the M/s is about.  It's a dynamic, a very specific dynamic where two people must be yin-yang to each other.  The edges must fit exactly right. Not to say there is a cookie cutter mold of how a Mistress is or how a slave should be... but each Mistress is slightly bent a certain way and She must find a cookie to compliment Her specific bends. Paul is in no way a 'bad' submissive.  In fact, I think one day he will be an excellent slave!  His yin simply didn't work with My Yang.  There is no fault in that.  
     Releasing a slave/sub is never fun.  The last time I had to do it I cried for a week straight. The problem was the same.  It wasn't that she was a bad slave nor I bad Mistress, it simply worked out that I could not be what she needed and deserved at the time.  I released her for her own well being.  She needed more than I could provide due to extenuating circumstances... and I loved her enough to let her go so her needs could be met.  I watched as she took on another Mistress and saw her blossom for a little while (till the Mistress started being a very very very bad Mistress but that's a whole other story)....  brenda, can I say, I'm so very very very glad to have you back.  
      This is much the same way.  I've come to realize what Paul needs isn't Me.  Perhaps One closely resembling Me in some things but not Me specifically.  Again, the ying-yang just doesn't fit as it should.  It's devastating to have formed a bond  simply to realize that it cannot grow as I want it.  But holding on to something I feel won't work does no one any justice. 
    I will continue to be friends with Paul, and hope to get the chance to watch him grow and blossom under the right Mistress. 
    My dear Paul, I am so very sorry, again, for such a harsh reality.  I do love you and will continue to love you.  I will always be here should you need anything.  You truly are a wonderful man and I'm all the more blessed for having met you, loved you, and mentored you the short while I have.  I wish you well in all you do, knowing that My wishes will far be surpassed... you've a star to catch to the top and I will enjoy watching from a distance as you soar to the heights I know you aspire to.  
            With all My love and sincerity, 
                                             Mistress Manda.