The Living Goddess: Having My Cake and Eating it Too!

My monogamous non-monogamous relationship with Rob (who is My fiance') looks much like this...

The chocolate cake

   I am monogamous... I love Rob with all My heart, mind, and soul. He is My world. When we met something just clicked, fastened, and it never came undone. His charming humor and sexy grin swept Me off My feet quite literally and I've yet to feel the ground since I've met him.

   I've pledged My love and life to him and our children. He is the ONLY man who will ever have Me in a vanilla monogamous way. I will take his name and be his. I will cater to his every need and love him beyond the depth that any other woman could ever attempt to. (Of course without ever wavering in the dominant woman I am). He is My mate, My husband (soon), My partner in life.

   The chocolate gnosh

I'm also non-monogamous (polyamory). No, it's not cheating on Rob. Cheating is breaking a promise, a vow, or agreement. I am open, honest, and ethical in all My relationships. I never step into any relationship without the consent of ALL partners involved. Tolerance isn't enough either... acceptance is absolutely required before I even begin a relationship. If Rob doesn't like you, think you're in it for My best interest, or feels off...it's a no go, end of story.

     I only wished being poly meant I was having sex ALL the time... Polyamorous relationships are not about the sex. They're about the relationships. There might be more sexual variety, but that doesn't necessarily translate into more sex in general, nor does it in any way imply that the sex is casual or there are no commitments or emotional intimacy involved. And variety is the spice of life!! I cannot do casual sex. It's just not in My nature. I can sit back and watch other's have casual sex, even orchestrate it, but to partake in it Myself is just something I cannot enjoy. You've all learned by now that My sex drive is quite comparable to a teenage boy's.... but that doesn't mean I am out there spreading My legs or flaunting My domination for any tom, dick, and sally that walks by.

     Yes, I can love Rob with all My heart and yet love other's with all My heart as well. I do NOT believe in the 'starvation model' of love. The starvation model thinks of love like a pitcher of sweet tea... You can't give your "whole heart" to someone and have anything left to give anyone else. If you fill one person with your love there's not enough left to fill another without taking some from that first glass. Make sense? Nah, I don't think so either... I have 8 children... do I tell My son Alex, who is the last, that I just don't love him because Mommy already has 7 children I love and there's nothing left for him... HELL NO... My little man, Alex, is the joy of life just as much as his oldest sister is... the pitcher doesn't run dry. What can I say, My pitcher of sweet tea must be more like the Atlantic Ocean... I give abundantly yet there's always a vast more where it came from. My relationships with are as unique and individual as the people in them themselves. Every person is capable of having "love" for more than one person because each person, and each relationship with each person, are completely unique.

   The chocolate icing

Where I am poly, Rob is not. He has only one lover, Me. Not that I'm a jealous person. I am human and have emotions like any other human but when I face jealousy (which I have in the past) I deal with the underlying issue of the cause, not the symptom itself. I like to be secure in My relationships or I will not have them. If I can't be sure you will, at the end of the day, want Me.... I don't want you. The reason he's not poly is because, well, I simply like to be the center of his world. He's gone working five days a week (a trucker) and when he's home, I devote all My time to him as I expect and want him to do for Me... He hasn't time for Me and someone else so it works for us that he is monogamous. This doesn't mean he hasn't been allowed 'fun time' with a submissive of Mine before... he has. To take a girlfriend or lover though.... oh hell no.

The chocolate shavings to top it off

The trick to My life is that I see Myself as a complete and whole individual worthy of love. My partners aren't puzzle pieces that I try to fit into My life to create a 'whole' happiness.... I'm already wholly happy. Those who I choose to love, I do so, to enrich and add to My quality of life. I enjoy those in My life for the benefits they bring Me (and I to them), I don't look for anyone else to take on the responsibility to make Me happy. I am responsible for My own happiness and if I expect somoene else to do it... it will always lead to failure.