Mpsw

I have both a FetLife and a CollarSpace account where I have some amazing discussions, conversations, and fun as well as some odd and rude communications.  I'm no stranger to meeting people online, I've done it for years and years.  Actually I met My wonderful fiance' on OKCupid.  

     Recently I've been casually chatting with a guy who I will refer to as Mpsw, since that's what I called him.   If you know Me, you know I like to get a names. I don't like calling someone 'boy' or 'girl'.  Haha, knowing your name does in no way guarantee I won't call you sugar, doll, dear, darlin', or some such thing however so if you don't like pet names don't talk to Me... it's just who I am to use them.
     Mpsw messaged Me one day and his message caught My attention.  We chatted back and forth for a few days and I was truly enjoying it... (not always the case).  Even Rob, My fiance' was enjoying it. He's been home this week taking care of Me and decided to take a few extra days off.  (and yes, he often gets to read a communication or two or ten lol.. when I think they are particularly noteworthy to share with him) 
     Then, I sent Mpsw a message asking why he had no pictures in either CollarSpace nor Fetlife and what his name was so I could quit calling him Mpsw.... to which I got no response and both his accounts were suddenly gone.  I was floored.  Only one other time has something like this happened but I'll save that for another blog -winks-  I shrugged it off and went about the rest of My night.  Then I get this message from him....

Goddess Manda,

I want to apologize to you for disappearing yesterday. I panicked when you asked me about my identity and left this site and fetlife to think about things. The reason I don't have pics on here or on fetlife is because I am very discreet about this part of me. I don't tell anyone about this for fear of being isolated by family, friends, and everybody I know.  I also fear being repercussions at work.

I have also been the victim of bad experiences online with other people claiming to be Mistresses/Goddesses. I guess it makes a little harder for me to trust someone online before I meet them and know that they are the real deal and not someone behind a screen.

However, I thought about things overnight and I realized I need to take a leap of faith in order to realize my dream of having a Goddess like you. So I will reveal to you my name and my pictures as long as you to promise me that you will keep my secret even if you decide not take me as your slave.

This process is new for me and a little scary. All I need is for me to be a little less nervous and more comfortable.

Again. I want to apologize to you for what I did. It was immature. I am very sorry. I beg you for your forgiveness and for your understanding. I am not worthy. You are divine and I am a human. You are Great and I am nothing compared to you. You are a Goddess and I am a slave. You are a God and I am a worshiper. The dirt on the bottom of your foot is more important than me because it has touched your divine foot.

I beg you and beg your shoes and beg your feet. I beg the ground you walk on for your forgiveness. I beg and pray to your feet for your forgiveness and understand Goddess Manda. I beg you and pray to you in the worship position on my hands, knees, and forehead. I prostrate myself before your divine presence. I am so sorry.

Bowing down on my hands, knees, and forehead,

Your Prospective Slave and Worshiper 

So no big deal... I read it but was in the middle of something and couldn't respond right away.  A few moments later I receive another message with some fantasy he's had about Me -pf-   Again I read it and read passed My phone to Rob to read but didn't have time to reply.   After about an hour I sit down to finally send Mpsw a good long deserving reply and as I pull up CS to do so I see yet another message from him... that reads like this...

 The more I think about things the more I realize I don't really know what I want. I'm recently very indecisive. I'm a late bloomer and I think I am still finding myself. I guess I am not old enough and mature enough to try the type of relationship you are looking for. That is why I will no longer waste your time or any person's time. I will leave these sites and go find myself before I try to contact another Goddess like yourself in the future.

I thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and read my messages. You are a terrific Goddess and a great person. I read more of your blog today and it made me really admire you as a person and as a Goddess. You are very strong and you live your life to the fullest without regrets unlike most of us (like myself) who are unsatisfied with parts of their life. I look forward to one day live my life like you. You are a hero and a role model to people like me.

I learned a valuable lesson from contacting you (that I need to grow more as a person and find myself and learn more about what I want) and that I have to eventually change my life to live it to the fullest like you.

I thank you again for corresponding with me. I hope I didn't waste your time and if I did I apologize. I will not be wasting your time anymore.

I wish you a happy life and I wish you best of luck in all your future endeavors!

Good luck and Good bye!

And again it said that the account no longer exists.  I have to say I felt bad a bit.... fear is a dreadful thing and to live in it horrid.  I know, I did it for years.  Fear of rejection, dejection, and loss when people find out who you really are.  Fear can make you a slave more than any Dom/me can.  I pity a person who can't live as they want for fear.  Other than the pity I feel I'm just completely flabbergasted that it's such a big deal to give someone a first name....  It's not like I asked for social security numbers and blood type.. hmmm perhaps I should maybe then I'll have way less spam.  lol.

So Mpsw... if you are reading this, please know while I understand your fear and sympathize with them.... I don't care for games much at all.    Good luck to you as well.  I hope that one day you'll contact Me again and tell Me of the wonderful journey into the light and away from the fear you've traveled. 


(Note to readers... I've just gone past the 100 pageviews a day mark... thank you all for being so wonderful and reading what I write.  Your continued reading inspires Me greatly.  I'm excited to see where this humble meager blog can go.)