One of My favorite books is Charles Dickens 'Great Expectations'. The story of struggle, growth, and hope are inspiring on so many levels. It's a classic I read over and over again. While there are many aspects of the storyline I enjoy today I will talk about one specifically.
Pip and Estella
Pip and Estella are both orphans. Pip raised by his sister and her husband, a common laboring family where Estella is raised by Miss Havisham, a wealthy lady. Pip's first meeting of Estella is less than enjoyable. His relationship with her does not grow naturally as the reader would expect but instead he is rejected and ridiculed quite crudely at every turn. He doesn't give up though. Pip remains in love with her and personifies her as the sum of all his goals in life.
Estella is cruel and harsh to Pip when they meet. Her remarks towards him shows her disdain for his lifestyle. 'why, he is a common labouring boy!' 'what coarse hands he has! and what thick boots!' He is common where she is genteel. This first meeting with Estella marks a turning point in his young life: her beauty, grace, and prospects represent the opposite of Pip's humble existence.
This led to Pip's desire to better himself to be worthy of Estella's love. He felt he must have higher expectations of himself, and wished to be a gentleman for her. Pip’s early relationship with Estella was based purely on his deep admiration of her high social status and beauty, rather than she as a whole. It is possible that Pip only loved Estella due to what she represented and not who she was. Pip also felt very inadequate throughout the beginning of the book, so perhaps he found Estella attractive due to her self-assured confidence. He wanted that for himself.
He becomes more and more dissatisfied with his life and eventually Miss Havisham becomes his benefactor as another character begins to teach him the ways of a gentleman in the prospect of winning Estella's favor in love. But for her the sincerity of Pip's love is worth nothing at all. She tells him,
''You must know that I have no heart—... ... Oh, I have a heart to be stabbed in or shot in.... But you know what I mean, I have no softness there, no sympathy, sentiment, nonsense.''
As they travel into adulthood he relentlessly pursues her even though her warm expressions of friendship are firmly countered by her insistence that she cannot love him. Actually, Estella flirts with and pursues Bentley Drummle, a disdainful rival of Pip's, and eventually marries him for his money. Seeing her flirt with the brutish Drummle, Pip asks Estella (rather bitterly) why she never displays such affection with him. Her response:
"Do you want me then",
said Estella, turning suddenly with a fixed and serious, if not angry, look,
"to deceive and entrap you?"
"Do you deceive and entrap him, Estella?"
"Yes, and many others—all of them but you."
At one point Estella tells Pip, quite abruptly,
'"You will get me put of your thoughts in a week."
His reply is by far My favorite quote of the entire book...
"Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You have been every line i have ever read, since I first came here, the rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been in every prospect I have ever seen since-on the river, on the sails of the ships, on the marshes, on the clouds, on the light, in the darkness, in the wind, in the woods, on the sea, in the streets. You have been the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become acquainted with."
That quote shows that Estella feels at least a bit of love for Pip, as does the fact that in his presence, she never pretends to be anything but what she is. Rather than achieve the intended effect, this honest behavior only frustrates Pip all the more.
Drummle dies, as a result of his abuse to an animal and Pip again pursues Estella in a frenzy, often tormenting himself to the point of utter despair. He makes writhing, pathetic attempts to awaken some flicker of emotion in Estella, but these merely perplex her; Estella sees his devotion as irrational.
By the end of the book their relationship is marked by some sadness and some joy. They are standing there, in front of Miss Havishams house holding hands. Estella still indicates that she doesn't believe she and Pip will be together, Pip perceives that she will stay with him. It's left up to us as the reader to decide their fate.
Pip's love and devotion to a woman who is so superior to him, if even just in her own mind, is exemplary of the submissive man I've been looking for to call My own. He doesn't run away for fear he cannot live up to her expectations. He doesn't cower at her coldness, harshness, or demands. Instead he uses them as well as his love to prove himself worthy over and over again. He's relentless in his pursuit, knowing that no other woman will suffice, that she is his all.
Where is this submissive man I've been looking for? The one who will not run in fear when things get tough but who will show character and dedication in submission and love. Is he out there? Or perhaps I'm the Pip in this and the idea of that is so lofty that I'm longing after something that will always be unrequited....
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If you, yes you reader, have any questions you'd like answered or any
topics you'd like Me to discuss or rant on please feel free to email Me
at
MistressAmandaCrystine@gmail.com.
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